ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
