I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Randomize
