so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We're too hungover to prance.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
