This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
