Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Randomize
