dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
this will be a night to untag.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
