have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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