grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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