he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Mom said you looked used
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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