Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
We had to coat check the pizza.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
