hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Small penises have feelings too.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Randomize
