Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
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