Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Boobs speak an international language.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
