I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
