I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Randomize
