Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Randomize
