Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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