Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
