Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
