he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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