brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Your face is a jimmy john
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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