My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
