Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
