take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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