i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
