i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
