I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
