i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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