so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
