i was born a porn star she said
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Randomize
