I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
