I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
