Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
