I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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