her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
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