i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
