North Korea, Best Korea!
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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