Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I want her autograph on my taint
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Randomize
