hell yes lets make some ravioli
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
