you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
