Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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