MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
