He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
