I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
