I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
