Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
This house was built for laser tag.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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