I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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