Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize