Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
it glows. i had to have it.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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