Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
